Viv's First Week at Daycare

We're halfway through my first week back to work and Vivian's first week at daycare.  I was a mess when I dropped her off on Monday.  They didn't have her personal drawer ready (and still don't which is making me mad now), I didn't know I needed special bottle labels and overall, I just felt like the infant room was disorganized and totally chaotic (and still do).  After leaving daycare, I just sat in my car and cried.  I noticed that I had missed a call from Bill and called him back through my tears.  When he answered, I started to say "I just dropped her...." but then just sobbed.  He thought I meant that I had literally dropped Vivian on the ground!  Of course I was saying that I just dropped her off at daycare but wasn't able to get it out fast enough.  Per Bill's advice, I'm going to give it the rest of the week and then talk with the center's director if I'm still not happy with how things are going.  The Ohio ratio is 5 babies to 1 adult which I think is crazy.  In Iowa, it was 4:1 which is only slightly better but our daycare always had an extra person (or at least I remember it that way).  Here, it seems there are only ever 2 adults and a bazillion crying, screaming kids.  I'm just not comfortable with that.  I don't know, we'll see.  I'm probably just overreacting.  Vivian couldn't care less.  She seems happy plus she gets to see Audrey during the day.  Audrey's class passes by the infant room a few times a day when they head outside to play.  I've heard from a few different teachers now about Audrey peeking in or them holding Vivian up to the window for Audrey to see her.  Picturing that makes me smile.  Audrey had actually told me that she visited Vivian yesterday and said she wasn't crying.  :)  One benefit, for me at least, is that Vivian is not sleeping as much there as she was at home so for the past 3 nights, she's slept 8+ hours straight!  She hasn't gotten up before 6:30 which is great for me.  I'm hoping this will be the norm now.  It literally took months for me to be okay with sending Audrey to daycare but hopefully I'll come around faster with Vivian.  Although to be honest, I'm still not really okay with it.  Aside from the socialization and education (and some free time for mommy!), I would much rather them be home with me than at school everyday.  They'll have enough school time from K-college to last them a lifetime.  I hate that their whole childhoods will be spent in school.  It just seems cruel.  But, until we're independently wealthy (or someone finally finishes his training), I don't see this changing anytime soon.  I just have to hope they'll forgive me one day....and that I can forgive myself.  Yes, I'm being dramatic but I think I'm allowed a free pass this week, afterall, I'm going through snuggly baby withdrawal.  My work desk and computer don't snuggle nearly as well!  :)